Right up front – none of these reviews were written about us, but we collected them because they’re too odd not to share. We also use them for training purposes of our service team. So here, for your amusement and maybe disbelief, are 20 of the weirdest steakhouse reviews we have found over time.

1. “Too much meat.”

“Everything was meat. Where were the salads? I left feeling like a caveman.”

Salads are great, but this is a steakhouse, not a spa café.

2. “They refused to cook it well-done twice.”

“Sent it back to be more well-done. Chef refused. It’s my steak. I should decide.”

At some point, it’s not steak—it’s charcoal.

3. “Too smoky. Smelled like steak.”

“Place smelled like grilled meat. Clothes reeked after. Not cute.”

We’re assuming this wasn’t meant as a compliment, but we’ll take it.

4. “Too many steak knives on the table.”

“Each person got a big knife. Felt a bit aggressive, like we were gearing up for battle.”

We call it being prepared. It’s a steakhouse, not a salad bar.

5. “The cow probably had feelings.”

“Felt bad eating steak. Cows are emotional beings. Won’t come back.”

We get it—but we’re still a steakhouse.

6. “The steak was pink inside. That’s raw!”

“Ordered medium. It came pink and juicy. That’s raw meat. Disgusting.”

That’s actually how it’s supposed to be. Science agrees.

7. “The menu had too many types of steak. Got stressed.”

“There were like ten different cuts. I got overwhelmed and just ordered a burger. Felt judged.”

We offer variety so you can find your favorite—but no pressure, the burger’s great too.

8. “Too quiet. I could hear people chewing.”

“The vibe was too silent. All I heard was knives and chewing. Gross.”

Bring friends. Or earbuds.

9. “Didn’t do the steak dance like in Brazil.”

“In Brazil they spin knives and do shows. Here, just boring meat service. No entertainment.”

Sounds like someone booked the wrong continent.

10. “The steak tasted like beef.”

“Not a fan. It had a strong beef flavor. Not what I expected.”

…that’s kind of the idea.

11. “Didn’t offer gold flakes on my Wagyu.”

“Wagyu was good but didn’t feel luxury enough. Should’ve had truffle or gold flakes.”

This isn’t a Vegas nightclub.

12. “The steak wasn’t Instagram-worthy.”

“Looked brown and boring. Doesn’t pop in photos. Lost likes. 2 stars.”

We grill for mouths, not timelines.

13. “The steak made me full.”

“It was so rich and heavy I couldn’t finish. Felt overly satisfied. Not ideal.”

You’d be shocked how often this complaint actually shows up.

In Closing
In the world of hospitality, you hear everything, from heartfelt praise to utterly mystifying comments. If you’ve ever worked in hospitality, you will know this list is just the tip of the iceberg. If you’ve got a favorite weird review of your own, send it our way. We’re always collecting … we might even feature it next.

Image Credit: https://churrascophuket.com

_ _ _

© CHURRASCO PHUKET STEAKHOUSE / ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Reprinting, reposting & sharing allowed, in exchange for a backlink and credits

Churrasco Phuket Steakhouse serves affordable Wagyu and Black Angus steaks and burgers. We are open daily from 12noon to 11pm at Jungceylon Shopping Center in Patong / Phuket.

We are family-friendly and offer free parking and Wi-Fi for guests. See our menus, reserve your table, find our location, and check all guest reviews here:

https://ChurrascoPhuket.com/

#Churrascophuket #jungceylon #phuketsteakhouse #affordablewagyu #wagyu